Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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