he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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