He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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