im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
