Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
