Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
