We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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