garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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