Can i not drive my cunt home
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
