hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
