HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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