Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize