I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
