White coat. Heels.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
