i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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