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• (703): View more from Virginia

  he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies

  (703): View more from Virginia

  and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"

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• (940): View more from Texas

  there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me

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• (863): View more from Florida

  you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.

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• (619): View more from California

  Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.

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