You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
