She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
