i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So vagazzling was a success
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
