love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
