Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You did what with his pubic hair?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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