I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
