Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
