I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
