Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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