I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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