i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
