Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I have fence marks all over my body
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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