Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
