All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
