We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
