Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think weed is turning my hair brown
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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