Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
