God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
