He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
