Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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