This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
