if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize