Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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