My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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