I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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