Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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