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The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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