oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
