I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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