I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
