I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
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After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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