Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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