dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
