thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
