Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
