Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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