Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
