i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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