He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
