5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
