I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize