I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
