i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
