We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
