i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
