So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
