I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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