I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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