Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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